In the future we'll all be gay
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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