The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize