its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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