And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
