you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
