you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
