I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
