I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
