is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
