The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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