hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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