i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
