I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize