Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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