You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize