i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize