i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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