Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
