Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
is wine microwaveable?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
