Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize