needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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