well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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