You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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