What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize