You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize