but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
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Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
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I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize