I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
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basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
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When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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