no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
