After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
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she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
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My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment