He kissed a someone with a penis
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
he laminated a picture of his dick.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.