lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
