i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful