Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(816): View more from Missouri

FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...

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(816): FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine... http://tfl.nu/7ts7

Replies (53) Good night (872) Bad night (3670)
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(586): View more from Michigan

Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?

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(586): Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white? http://tfl.nu/dlzj

Replies (28) Good night (2868) Bad night (653)
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(731): View more from Tennessee

new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.

(1-731): View more from Tennessee

ohh what kind?

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(731): new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street. (1-731): ohh what kind? http://tfl.nu/u9xt

Replies (18) Good night (1421) Bad night (2598)
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(773): View more from Illinois

im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me

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(773): im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me http://tfl.nu/r5gz

Replies (14) Good night (941) Bad night (4622)
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(512): View more from Texas

Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic

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(512): Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic http://tfl.nu/ja5d

Replies (16) Good night (5084) Bad night (728)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.

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(215): just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break. http://tfl.nu/9me9

Replies (17) Good night (4274) Bad night (945)
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(916): View more from California

We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.

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(916): We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever. http://tfl.nu/dui8

Replies (12) Good night (4166) Bad night (1399)
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(506): View more from New Brunswick

I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.

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(506): I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision. http://tfl.nu/nkkw

Replies (28) Good night (4589) Bad night (1492)
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(810): View more from Michigan

I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.

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(810): I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio. http://tfl.nu/bxp9

Replies (10) Good night (1049) Bad night (3052)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.

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(780): Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT. http://tfl.nu/4w87

Replies (13) Good night (2068) Bad night (1234)
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(775): View more from Nevada

He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell

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(775): He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell http://tfl.nu/4swv

Replies (11) Good night (2209) Bad night (642)
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(415): View more from California

I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week

(1-415): View more from California

I don't deserve you.

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(415): I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week (1-415): I don't deserve you. http://tfl.nu/jnri

Replies (6) Good night (2315) Bad night (468)
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(847): View more from Illinois

Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll

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(847): Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll http://tfl.nu/osu5

Replies (0) Good night (321) Bad night (539)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian

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(201): you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian http://tfl.nu/lzbp

Replies (2) Good night (1173) Bad night (419)
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(703): View more from Virginia

We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.

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(703): We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car. http://tfl.nu/btt0

Replies (4) Good night (576) Bad night (339)

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