Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(307): View more from Wyoming

I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.

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(307): I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist. http://tfl.nu/unvw

Replies (12) Good night (991) Bad night (1463)
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(541): View more from Oregon

I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.

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(541): I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog. http://tfl.nu/ft4h

Replies (53) Good night (3605) Bad night (799)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him

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(484): he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him http://tfl.nu/d2zc

Replies (83) Good night (1001) Bad night (4026)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".

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(304): You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces". http://tfl.nu/rjzc

Replies (5) Good night (3874) Bad night (1091)
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(207): View more from Maine

you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand

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(207): you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand http://tfl.nu/om9i

Replies (8) Good night (4612) Bad night (1114)
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(913): View more from Kansas

You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .

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(913): You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" . http://tfl.nu/nj3u

Replies (1) Good night (1967) Bad night (1081)
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(916): View more from California

No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.

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(916): No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard. http://tfl.nu/3369

Replies (12) Good night (3740) Bad night (1131)
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(705): View more from Ontario

my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia

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(705): my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia http://tfl.nu/20or

Replies (5) Good night (4765) Bad night (727)
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(812): View more from Indiana

Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.

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(812): Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them. http://tfl.nu/jsyg

Replies (4) Good night (1323) Bad night (704)
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(416): View more from Toronto

When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons

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(416): When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons http://tfl.nu/nkke

Replies (5) Good night (1769) Bad night (579)
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(817): View more from Texas

Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.

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(817): Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one. http://tfl.nu/mit2

Replies (3) Good night (683) Bad night (948)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.

(1-423): View more from Tennessee

Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.

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(423): What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there. (1-423): Call it what you want. You fucked a girl. http://tfl.nu/1fty

Replies (5) Good night (1935) Bad night (715)
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(937): View more from Ohio

I chugged that bitch with a dip in.

(614): View more from Ohio

You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.

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(937): I chugged that bitch with a dip in. (614): You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you. http://tfl.nu/o45c

Replies (2) Good night (572) Bad night (290)
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(323): View more from California

Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?

(978): View more from Massachusetts

Sure lol what's that?

(323): View more from California

Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.

(978): View more from Massachusetts

Why?

(323): View more from California

Replies (3) Good night (691) Bad night (240)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it

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(832): Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it http://tfl.nu/qafe

Replies (2) Good night (504) Bad night (186)