I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
