this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
