I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Randomize
