Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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