guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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