@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
