woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Randomize