omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to fling myself into the sun
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize