I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go