Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.