he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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