she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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