Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
