Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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