would you consider him our boss?
then technically i slept with our boss
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i will never coherently bang her
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.