How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You need a sexual gate keeper
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill