ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?