Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
