That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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