Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize