I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
i think i just lost a toe
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
